“Where’d the dog go? I hope he didn’t drown.”
“Mitt, don’t be such a wimp. It makes you sound…Democratic.”
(Bermuda) Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, on vacation in Bermuda from a successful week of fundraising, searched fruitlessly up and down the beach for several hundred million dollars he had stashed away.
“Dog-gonnit, I know it was somewhere around here. I think. I didn’t want anyone to get ahold of it, so I buried it in the sand next to Mike [Bloomberg]’s cooler.”
“I’ll have another Mojito. Do you have change for a million dollar bill?”
“It was a red cooler and he had it under a yellow and white umbrella next to a lifeguard station. I remember there was a fat lady lying on her stomach…”
“Problem is, everyone has those yellow and white umbrellas. They turn out to be rented. Which is weird, because on this beach everyone can afford their own umbrellas, so it’s not like we need any kind of socialist suntan-avoidance system.”
“And there’s like a million life guard stations and they all look the same.”
“Darn it, why did Bloomberg have to go off and get a Chipwich and leave me in the lurch?”
“Oh well, it’s not like I don’t have a bunch more money where that came from. I just hope Bloomy was a pal and bought a couple Chippies for Ann and me.”
“Us 1%-ers got to stick together.”
