“All Smiles and Armed to the Teeth”
(Austin, TX) Expanding upon the “Guardian Program” in Wilbarger county that arms teachers, The State of Texas has now mandated training and arming all nursery school students.
“So far the program has been very successful,” Explains Wil “Wild Bill” Wilkersen, director of Texas’ newly-founded Lil’ Commandos Nursery School.
“We’ve got the NRA in here, they bring in all their literature about the proper use of firearms. Of course, our kids can’t read yet, so you have to explain the pamphlets to them. Sometimes we just use lots of pictures and songs.”
“The gun manufacturers have been very helpful too. We got some special weapons that they’ve designed for us that fit the hands of our little angels better. They’re seeing a great business opportunity here, just as we are, so it’s kind of a win-win. Except for Mister Stranger Danger,” He explained, laughing heartily.
“And the kids love the guns. Especially the boys. We just set up some cans in the back and they just blast away! Their accuracy’s not great at first, but we’re pretty confident that by the time they hit the 3s-4s they’ll mostly hit the bad guys and not the teachers…”
“Plus, they already spend so much time crawling on the ground, they make a pretty hard-to-hit target!”
