(Sudbury, MA) At the Duggard Family Dog Kennel, a young Weimaraner puppy named Fritz breathed a huge fucking sigh of relief as Mitt Romney conceded defeat in his attempt to win election as President of the United States.
“I know I should have been honored that he was thinking of making me First Dog, but the thought of being strapped to the top of some Presidential limo, or god forbid Air Force One had me pissing my dog bed.”
“I know what happened to his old dog, Seamus. That guy has about as much compassion as Genghis Khan.”
“Also, I think he showed a lack of understanding of foreign policy. Russia is our greatest enemy? C’mon, I’m six weeks old, I’m not human and even I know that’s north of Sarah Palin crazy. I just couldn’t respect an owner like that.”