Vermin Supreme, perennial dark horse candidate and pony-lover, makes his finally effort in this brilliant video where he promotes himself as an Internet meme.
Fishington Cheesington wholeheartedly prefers this “friendly facist” to the unfriendly variety.
Besides, Britain had a dog lover’s party, why not a pony lover’s party?
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Senator Scott Brown from Massachusetts. He’s sure dreamy… but for women, he’s policies are a nightmare.
(New York, NY) Outside New York criminal court, 21-year-old accused terrorist Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis was shaking his head.
“My aim was to do something big. I hoped to bring down the U.S. economy. But I found out soon after arriving in the New York that it was too late. The job had already been done by Wall Street.”
“I should have know my plan to bring the American economy to its knees was a waste of time just based on the tips I was getting as a busboy. Or lack of tips. You guys are so screwed. It’s getting worse than Bangladesh”
“Yeah, I knew the guys setting me up were FBI, and I knew the explosives they gave me were phony. But I know how hard it is to find work in this country. They seemed to have their hearts set on it and I didn’t want them to lose their jobs.”
“I asked them if they could get me a bunch of high explosives, but I guess I should have just asked them to get me a job at Goldman Sachs. That would have done a lot more damage. Or hey, do you know if Romney’s looking for someone to make a few calls or something?”
Mitt Romney lowers expectations by pointing out that “election is not really a contest”
(Denver, CO) Mitt Romney, in an effort to lower expectations about the upcoming Presidential debates, has pointed out that the election is “not really about getting elected.”
“It doesn’t matter who does well, it doesn’t matter who scores the most points, who gets higher polls or who wins the most electoral votes.”
“At the end of the day, it’s about who can express a better vision for America. Whether or not that vision is accepted. Because I may or may not win. And that’s okay. I don’t really care. It’s not like I really need the job.”
“President Obama is an outstanding debater and campaigner. He might win the election. He probably will. But it’s not like it’s a popularity contest or something.”
“Like they say in baseball, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. Say, that’s and idea, when I lose the election, I just may buy a baseball team. Wait a minute, what kind of game do they play in China? That might be cheaper…”
