(Undisclosed Location) An anti-muslim film created by a man who calls himself “Sam Bacile” has caused riots in Libya and Egypt and is being blamed for a rocket attack that killed the U.S. Ambassador to Egypt.
Mr. Bacile’s identity is unknown. Fishington Cheesington post has been unable to find any mention of the putative real estate developer on Internet sources such as Google.com, Pipl.com or Intelius.com before the crisis unfolded.
But after reviewing the film, we understand why. It is undoubtedly the shittiest $5 million dollar film to ever start a World War.
Fishington Cheesington was able to track Bacile down for an interview.
“Sam Bacile” agreed to the interview on condition we cover his head with a pair of Queen-sized black pantyhose. This was not for anonymity, but rather because he was “into it.”
“Look, I’m no filmmaker. I’m just an Israeli-born real estate developer who hates Muslims. Ok, the movie is shitty. Look at it. I’m sure you’re thinking your thirteen-year old nephew could do a better job. He probably could.”
“Actually, I pocketed most of the money I got from the CIA, Massad and the companies and got a college kid to shoot it for $2,000 in cash. Then I spent the rest at a Jewish deli. Did I mention I’m Israeli? And that I hate Muslims?”
“Sure a Ham on Rye isn’t Kosher, but I’m not a filmmaker and I’m not an Israeli. So there.
“Maybe I’ll use some of the money to go to film school. After all, Speilberg is Jewish. I’m not sure that he hates Muslims as much as me. Although I understand the original version of Close Encounters of a Third Kind was called Close Encounters With the Cancer That is Islam and ET was EKT for Everyone should Kill the Towelheads.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must turn on CNN to watch the end of the world as we know it.”
