Hatch: After Oil Companies Squeeze Us Dry, Dogs Will Rule the Earth

Orrin Hatch Unveils Republican Plan: Let Dogs Rule the Earth

In today’s Senate Finance Committee hearing, Senator Orrin Hatch unveiled Republicans’ plan to allow dogs to rule the earth.

“Let’s face it, we’re running out of oil.  Pretty soon there will be none left.  We’ll be a bunch of zombies, fighting each other like something out of that Mad Max movie with the crazy Jew-hater guy”

Mel Gibson with his dog in the movie "Mad Max"

“After the people kill each other off, the monkeys will take over, like in the Planet of the Apes.”

Intelligent Apes Will Take Over!

“Finally, when the apes catch monkey fever, the dogs will be riding the horses and they will rule the earth.  But I’m here to make certain that they are Republican dogs, dammit!”

“Does all this sound crazy to you?  Hell, it’s no crazier than subsidizing oil companies so they can gouge American consumers.”