{"id":920,"date":"2012-07-05T22:17:12","date_gmt":"2012-07-06T02:17:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/?p=920"},"modified":"2012-07-05T22:17:12","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T02:17:12","slug":"romney-searches-for-offshore-money-swore-he-left-it-next-to-bloombergs-cooler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/2012\/07\/05\/romney-searches-for-offshore-money-swore-he-left-it-next-to-bloombergs-cooler\/","title":{"rendered":"Romney Searches for Offshore Money — Swore He Left it Next to Bloomberg’s Cooler"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Mitt<\/a>

“Where’d the dog go? I hope he didn’t drown.”
“Mitt, don’t be such a wimp. It makes you sound…Democratic.”<\/p><\/div>\n

(Bermuda) Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, on vacation in Bermuda from a successful week of fundraising, searched fruitlessly up and down the beach for several hundred million dollars he had stashed away.<\/p>\n

“Dog-gonnit, I know it was somewhere around here. I think. I didn’t want anyone to get ahold of it, so I buried it in the sand next to Mike [Bloomberg]’s cooler.”<\/p>\n

\"Red<\/p>\n

\"Yellow

“I’ll have another Mojito. Do you have change for a million dollar bill?”<\/p><\/div>\n

“It was a red cooler and he had it under a yellow and white umbrella next to a lifeguard station. I remember there was a fat lady lying on her stomach…”<\/p>\n

“Problem is, everyone has those yellow and white umbrellas. They turn out to be rented<\/em>. Which is weird, because on this beach everyone can afford their own umbrellas, so it’s not like we need any kind of socialist suntan-avoidance system.”<\/p>\n

“And there’s like a million life guard stations and they all look the same.”<\/p>\n

\"Chipwich\"<\/p>\n

“Darn it, why did Bloomberg have to go off and get a Chipwich and leave me in the lurch?”<\/p>\n

“Oh well, it’s not like I don’t have a bunch more money where that came from. I just hope Bloomy was a pal and bought a couple Chippies for Ann and me.”<\/p>\n

“Us 1%-ers got to stick together.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Bermuda) Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, on vacation in Bermuda from a successful week of fundraising, searched fruitlessly up and down the beach for several hundred million dollars he had stashed away. “Dog-gonnit, I know it was somewhere around here. I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,4,135],"tags":[573,346,266,574],"class_list":["post-920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc-funny-stuff","category-political-comedy","category-troutboysblog","tag-bermuda","tag-michael-bloomberg","tag-mitt-romney","tag-off-shore-money"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=920"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fishandcheese.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}