(Raleigh, NC) While North Carolina voters approved a constitutional amendment Tuesday defining marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, votes also approved a provision within the amendment defining male friendship of consisting of “long stretches of time spent away from wives in the company of other men, on hunting or fishing trips, often sharing the same tents or sleeping bags.”
Furthermore, while voters approved the amendment by a margin of 61%, the overwhelming majority of men indicated they had at least one buddy they liked to spend time with, “would give their left nut for,” and sometimes fantasized saving the life of “like in a spectacular car accident or a war or something.”
“I spend a lot of time discussing these issues in bars and locker rooms,” explained Butch Cusack, President of the North Carolina chapter of Conservative Men Standing Firm in Their Defense of Marriage (CMSFTDM). “We are totally against the idea of gay marriage. We do like to spend time with other men and there’s nothing wrong with that. We also would like to be able to qualify for benefits with our buddies if we want to. And adopt kids together.”
“But damned if we’re going to support gay marriage. Or civil unions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some tackle to pack. Got to get up early tomorrow and get some fishing in.”
