When Amish Attack! Splinter Group Cut Beards By Force

Three Amish Guys in Mugshots

"We schooled that mo-fo South-side Bergholz style"

(Bergholz, Ohio) Three Amish men have been charged with barging into the home of Martin Miller, also Amish, and cutting his beard by force.

Possessing a long beard is a symbol of pride and religious identity among the Amish.

The men who were charged are part of an Amish splinter group who seem to hold a grudge because the Millers left the group years ago and help other to leave as well.

Since the Amish have a tradition of non-violence, Martin Miller and his wife have vowed to “turn the other cheek.”

Horse whizzing by pulling Amish carriage

"Giddyup!"

That’s a good thing, because nothing is more pathetic than an Amish “drive by.”

Hair-Cutting Attacks Stir Fear Among Ohio Amish

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Warren Buffett’s Son: Why Even Rich Fat Bastards Like Me Support Occupy Wall Street

Howard Buffett, Son of Billionaire Warren Buffett

"Fight the power that be!"

(Des Moines, Iowa) An exclusive Fish and Cheese interview with Howard Buffett, son of billionaire investor Warren Buffett, on why he supports the “Occupy Wall Street” movement.

Fish and Cheese: It’s hard to believe that a wealthy, conservative-looking man such as yourself could support a radical movement like “Occupy Wall Street.”

Howard Buffett: Well, like my daddy’s said before, it’s class warfare right now, and frankly, our side is kicking butt.

I mean, being rich is great when the poor have a chance, but it’s getting really unfair. It’s like the Detroit Tigers playing the bottom team in the Omaha girl’s T-ball league.

Detroit Tigers pitcher Doug Fister

"Eat 90-mile-an-hour lead, poor girl!

Girls going up to bat in t-ball

"please don't kill me symbol of capitalism! I'm just trying to stay alive here!"

There’s never been such a wide gap between rich and poor. In technical terms, it’s like in the cartoons when an earthquake causes a gap to open up beneath Goofy and he’s forced to do the splits. That’s got to hurt.

F&C: Is it true that your dad’s secretary pays more proportionally in taxes than he does?

HB: Yup. Ridiculous, huh? And my dad really pays the taxes he owes.

By the way, he doesn’t even hire fancy accountants. Every year on April 14th I see him in his study, in his underwear, typing stuff into TurboTax!

But seriously, some rich guys stash their loot in the Caymans or the Bahamas or something and barely pay anything. I can’t mention any of these guys by name or I wouldn’t get invited to the monthly Rich Guy’s Poker Party.

political cartoon: big mouth says "Help bail me out, save capitalism" and "Pay my fair share of taxes, what is this, socialism?"

Talking out of both sides of their mouths.

F&C: Do any of these tax dodgers have names that rhyme with Smichael Smoomberg?

HB: No comment.

F&C: And you support what these young people are doing by squatting in a private plaza in New York City? And would you go there yourself?

HB: Oh yes. But look, I’m a busy man. I work for my dad’s company, I’m on several corporate boards. I fill out all those online petitions and I sent 200 pizzas down there.

Also, I wouldn’t fit in with the protestors down in Zucotti Park.

Occupy Wall Street meditation group

"Ohm. Ohm. I don't want the bank to take anyone's Ohm."

Actually, I wouldn’t even fit in Zucotti Park.

(laughs)

You think Chris Christie is the only guy that can make fat jokes?

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Move Your Money From the Potters of the World to the George Baileys!

Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life - Move your money

Move your money away from the greedy bastards that help cause the financial crisis!

Just like Mr. Potter in the classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life, the big banks used tricks to swindle consumers and small businesses, and then went to the taxpayer to clean up the mess.

Check out this mashup video by Eugene Jarecki:

Now big banks like Bank of America are trying to shift the burden onto consumers by charging outrageous fees! I’m sure like most people you’re fed up, but what can you do?

Fight back by switching your money to smaller community banks and credit unions!

Go to the Move Your Money website and find out where to Move Your Money!

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Herman Cain: Black People You Will Do What I Say!

Two White women looking at tall Black zombie man

"As long as we promise to help him, he'll remain under the power of the Democrats!"

(Washington) Presidential candidate Herman Caine, appearing on CNN’s “Situation Room” program, claimed that Blacks have been “brainwashed” into voting for Democrats.

Presidential Candidate Herman Cain

"Look deep into my eyes. You are getting sleepy. You will vote Republican!"

“Blacks in this country have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the Democrats into believing many things,” Claimed Cain.

“They’ve been brainwashed by the Democrats into thinking they should have equal opportunity, a chance for a good education and good jobs. They’ve been brainwashed by Democrats who cause them to act like zombies, heading to the voting booth to vote for things that are actually good for them.”

“I’m here to tell them they don’t need all that. Be openminded and vote Republican for a change. They’ll have plenty of time to think when they’re homeless!”

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“The Revolution Will Be Streamed” – By Bank of America

(New Yok) Poet Gill Scott-Heron was right when he famously stated: “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.”

Gil Scott Heron on the album cover of "The Revolution Will Not be Televised"

Gil sits back and waits for the future. "some day, there will be this thing called "the Internet..."

What he didn’t know was it would be streamed throughout the world.

And sponsored by Bank of America?

A rag-tag coalitions of radicals have converged on Wall Street, promising to camp out for two weeks.

Occupy Wall Street

Taking the Bull By the Horns

Wall Street bull statue's balls

Or is it by the balls?

Their demands that are not entirely clear, but seems to involve limiting the influence of financial giants from dominating elections and destroying the economy.

The plan was set in motion by a group called Adbusters, “culture jammers” that try to counter mainstream media.

Which is supported by ads.

One of which is an ad for Bank of America.

Bank of America Logo

Bank of America: Part of The Revolution?

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