“I don’t care if you’re working 70 hour weeks for $1.78 an hour. I want a slightly bigger display for playing Temple Run”
(Longhua, Shenzhen Provence, China) Apple Computer’s new iPhone has been delayed indefinitely due to the overall laziness of Chinese workers.
As Apple spokeswoman Gail Wombat pointed out:
“Some investigators claim that workers at the factories where we make our iPhones work up to 70 hours a week. But I’d like to point out that means they don’t work 98 hours a week. So I have to ask: are you going to be a glass-half-full or glass-have-empty person?”
“They don’t get paid much for doing very repetitive tasks, but you have to admit iPhones are pretty cool. Most people would kill to play with them all day long.”
“And working all day long keeps from thinking about how they don’t have any labor rights and stops them from committing suicide!
Meanwhile, in Cambridge Massachusetts, Apple fan-boy Harold Harney expressed his excitement about the upcoming iPhone 5 release:
“I heard it’s going to be 2mm thinner and a couple of cm wider. That’s progress! If I can get a cool new phone, I don’t really care about some worker in China. Hmm…that makes me hungry. I could really go for some Kung Pao Chicken right now.
