Health Care Plan to Cover Scanning Cats
Conservative think-tank The Heritage Foundation is up in arms about a little-known provision in
the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (or Obamacare as it is prejoritavely called) to cover scanning cats as well as CAT scans.
Tucked in to the text of the massive law is sub-section SEC. 5509.
COVERAGE FOR SCANNING OF FELINE INDIVIDUALS
IN VETERINARY CLINICS.
``(a) Coverage.--
``(1) In general.--If a group health plan or a health
insurance issuer offering group or individual health insurance
coverage provides coverage to a qualified individual, then such
plan or issuer--
``(A) Must also provide for the scanning of feline-Americans (otherwise known as cats)
for purposes of diagnostic tests. No discrimination will be allow with regard to variety or color of feline-American.
“Now I love cats as much as the next guy. But things have gotten out of hand here.” Heritage Foundation spokesman Allan Atterson argued at a recent “Common Sense in Health Care” Luncheon in D.C.
“Everyone knows the U.S. has the finest veterinary services in the world. Pretty soon we’ll have tractor-trailer loads of “gatos” coming over the boarder to get these scans. There won’t be room to hold all of them.”
Democrat Dennis Kucinich also opposes implementation of Sec. 5509 but for different reasons:
“If we put the kind of money that we lavish on our pets into helping human beings, we would be able to provide more health care for actual people. Besides, how do you hold down a cat to scan it without getting scratched? That hasn’t been addressed by Democrats or Republicans!
