Must…Vote…Republican
(Tallahassee, FL) Republican operative Nathan Sproul has revealed his strategy for winning the 2012 Presidential elections: go after the young, dead voter.
His company, Strategic Allied Consulting, has been accused of fraudulent voter registration practices, including changing prospective voters’ addresses, party affiliations, and even registering dead people as voters.
“We feel like it’s an excellent strategy. Dead people tend to go Republican. They’re more conservative, they don’t have brains, and they like Romney’s stiff, unresponsive style. Plus they’re almost as easily led as Santorum or Bachmann supporters.”
“We’re hoping to raise an entire army of dead people before the election. Not only will our candidate win, but our minions will be able to eat the entire Democratic party! Not even Reagan was able to do that.”
