(New York, NY) During a visit to Ground Zero earlier today, Mitt Romney criticized what he called President Obama’s recent attempts to “politicize” the killing of Osama bin Laden by claiming Romney did not support the hunt for bin Laden.
“I’m telling you right now, if I was the President instead of Obama, I would have done the exact same thing that he did. I would have also killed him. Only better.”
“For one thing, I wouldn’t have had to risk U.S. soldiers to get the job done. All I would have needed would have been a station wagon, a sturdy roof rack and some puppy biscuits.”
Here bin Laddie Laddie Laddie Laddie!
“I would have driven right up to the compound and pulled out the 10 pound bag of Liv-a-snaps that I still have from when Seamus was still with us. Then I would have laid out a trail of treats leading up to his living quarters. I figure he was holed up eating the same food for so long even something unusual as a dog biscuit might have seemed to be a luxury.”
“Then, once so entranced, I’d whistle and call out ‘here boy’ and I’m sure he would have jumped right up into Seamus’–I mean his–kennel.”
$129.98 for an extra-large kennel? Not too shabby for catching the world's most dangerous man.
“Once there, I would drive him up to Canada. He would practically die of fright up there and spill the beans on all the Al Queeada secrets. Then of course I would forget to feed and water him and end up having to dump his body in an undisclosed section of Lake Ontario. End of story.”
