"You'd have to be nuts to vote for me!"
(Rochester, Michigan) Governor Rick Perry made a major mistake at the Republican debate in Michigan earlier this evening when he mentioned he wanted to get rid of three agencies of the U.S. government, but then forgot one of them.
Afterward, Perry met with Fish and Cheese for an exclusive post-debate interview.
“I tell you what, I was so focused on talking about how much I hate the government helping promote economic growth or teaching kids, that I totally dropped the ball on the biggy, which is how much I loathe the federal government trying to promote clean energy.”
"Sorry Rick, I didn't know any of this was gonna be on the test!"
“I’ve really got to fire Sarah Palin as my debate coach.
“It’s embarrassing, because that’s my whole thing! I’m from Texas! Duh! It’s all about the oil, baby!”
“They keep asking me “don’t you remember the third one? don’t you remember the third one? It’s like when you’re freaking out about something and someone says, “Hey! don’t think about a big white bear! Don’t think about a big white bear!” and then that’s all you can think about.”
"They should have asked for more ice"
“By the way, the way things are going you won’t have to worry about that big white bear because the polar bears will all be dead from Global Warming.”
“I felt so bad after the debate I banged my own head against the wall backstage and said “You’re so stupid, Rick, You’re SOOOO STUPID!”
“Then I realized I really hurt myself and felt even stupider. Ron Paul was nice enough to run get me a Tylenol and a cold Dr. Pepper, just like he was nice enough to let me copy his debate notes.
"Uh, hi, this is Rick Perry in Room 501? Could you send over a pizza, a dozen wings and a ticket out of the Presidential race?"
“Then I went back to my hotel and ate a whole pizza and a dozen chicken wings. I felt terrible, so I had to make myself throw up. I watched some TV and I cried a little.”
“Fuck it, anyway. We all know Romney’s going to win. He’s so smart, he’s so Presidential, naah, naah, nahh. Candy-ass”
