Jack Kevorkian, Dr. Death, Turns Chicken
Jack “Dr. Death” Kevorkian, the assisted suicide advocate has been hospitalized with pneumonia and kidney problems.
In an apparent change of heart, the 82-year-old doctor announced that he wanted doctors to take every possible measure to keep him alive.
“I don’t care if I have to suffer a long, lingering, painful death. Â I don’t care if the doctors have to use all the equipment they have. Â I don’t care if I single-handedly use up all the money in Obamacare. Â Keep me alive, damn it!”
Although he was barely able to lift his head off his pillow, Kevorkian pointed to the machines next to his bed to make his wishes clear.
“And don’t try anything funny with those machines.”
The Machines Keeping Dr. Death Alive
“I’ve seen this young nurses and doctors eyeing them, snickering.”
“Let’s give Doctor Death a taste of his own medicine.”
“Well, I’m not having anything of it. Â In fact, take this pillow. Â I’ve used pillows to suffocate lots of–I mean, I’ve heard that people do that to old people sometimes.”
“Hey, that beeping sound, is that normal? Â I have no idea what these things do. Â I only know how to use machines to kill people, not keep them alive!”
