(Peekskill, NY) The “Anonymous Hacker Group was shut down this afternoon when the teen behind the group, Craig Havermeyer, had his computer taken away by his mom.
“I don’t mind him being on the computer doing all his little hacker games. I don’t mind him talking online with that Wikipedia (sic) guy Asange who leaked all the documents,” Said Craig’s mother Sandy Havermeyer in an exclusive Fish and Cheese interview in the kitchen of her modest home in Peekskill, NY.
“But when I found out that he hadn’t been studying and he got a C in English and a D in Math, I hit the roof. He spends all his time on the computer. Don’t you think he’d get an A in Math?”
“C’mon, mom!” Craig interjected. “You don’t understand. There’s nothing to do around here.”
“If you did your homework, there’s be a lot to do.” Sandy prodded her son with the celery stick she was eating. Craig responded by grabbing the celery and throwing it on the ground.
“You’re a total bitch!”
Craig grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator and stomped out of the kitchen.
As he left, Ms. Havermeyer called out “Don’t you talk to me that way! I’ll throw that machine in the trash!”
“You’re bipolar! You’re bipolar!” countered Craig and slammed the door to his room.
“See what I have to deal with?” asked Ms. Havermeyer over the blaring sound of “Strength in Numbers” by the band Times of Grace.
“He’ll never get into college at this rate. I just hope he knows how to hack his way into someone’s checking account.
Where’s his Guy Fawkes Mask? Did she take that away, too?